“I was honest with them, my friends, my family, myself, and God about what I had been through and where I want to go. It was a slow start, but you have to crawl before you can walk, walk before you can run, and run before you can fly…”
Started From the Bottom…
Full disclosure: 2014-2015 was a rough time for me. It was like my motivation and optimism and drive were just sucked right out of me. Like I had been running a marathon and accomplished so much, but then the VR goggles came off and I discovered I had been on a treadmill, running in place the whole time. I tried to keep my momentum up because I thought I had to, but then I just decided to stop. I failed two semesters of college, finding enough pockets of motivation to pass a solid 2/5 classes each semester. Not exactly the goal. I had alienated all but my very best friends (2 girls I’d known since elementary school). Definitely not the goal. I had gained around 20 pounds which, for a girl who has been overweight her whole life, sucked. I had pretty much let myself sit on the edge of a black hole for a year, passing time.
The “Make Good Happen” Part
Until Summer 2015, when I sat back and said “to hell with this, I’m just going to get off the damn treadmill!” It was an epiphany. Why had I wasted so much time? The only two opinions that mattered I had complete control over. Mine, and God’s. I don’t know about the Big Guy, but I wasn’t impressed at this point. I knew waiting for something good to happen wasn’t going to cut it… I had to take control and make “good” happen.
So, that summer I took an online class and managed to get reinstated to my university. I crawled out of the hole that I’d been hiding in (my bedroom), and spent more time with my family and what friends I had left…
At some point, I discovered there was no going back to life “before”. That’s really important; you can’t try to go back to life pre-Anything. Everything that happens to you sets you on a new course. It’s about moving forward. I had to figure out my new life, and my new self. I had never been so motivated and so optimistic – which, if you knew me before, would be hard to believe. That Fall (2015) I only took two classes, both prerequisite introductory courses for the Education program at my school. I’ll explain that all in a post later, too, but let’s say they felt like coming home. After getting high-As in both classes, and the experiences I’d had thanks to the classes, I knew what came next. I was going to be a teacher.
…Now We’re Here! (The Past Year)
Without getting into the finer details of my scheduling, which are more or less irrelevant, I’ll say that my time since declaring Pre-Elementary Education has been some of my very best. I got a job, which I kept for six months; I think it was a large part of my bounce-back. However, after deciding to become a “full-time student” last semester and devoting myself to school, I realized that is the best way for me to succeed academically. I earned straight As for the first time since high school (I’m in my third year now).
Beyond that, I made friends! True friends that I am still in touch with and couldn’t imagine the last two semesters without! I began fearlessly communicating with my professors and “success network”. And I was honest with them, my friends, my family, myself, and God about what I had been through and where I want to go. It was a slow start, but you have to crawl before you can walk, walk before you can run, and run before you can fly.